an explaination is due…

“Dies irae solvet saecium in favilla; Mors stupebit cum surget creatura.” – The Denouement – I Am Ghost

So people finally have seen the change… Sky Ryder is dead…

And Sky de Lacrimosa lives.

Why the change, some may ask. And to those who do… I laugh at. Isn’t it obvious? Did I not make myself clear before? I have realized my true self, and that IS Sky de Lacrimosa. Things before… Were different. I hid myself, stayed in the shadows of others. No more.

From this point forward, I make myself known. I show the world who I am, what I can be. No more will I hide the true being that dwells within my soul.

In the past, I wore a facemask. There is no doubt in my mind, that people wondered what that was about. Why I wore it, what it stood for. Simple… I was hiding. Keeping myself behind yet another facade. How easy it was, to have the mask upon my face, to distract you all while I stayed safe, in walls.

Now those walls are broken down. Now they are crumbled and ruined past recognition. Some may be thinking, “what does that mean?”

Only time will tell…

…

Lift the lid off your heart’s casket in the arms of rain; Drift along this river of sadness ’til we feel no pain; Baby stop, Hail Maries for the secret you kept from me; Hail Maries but tomorrow’s dream; In the arms of rain we are free; Ave Maria, we’ve tried; Ave Maria, we’ve cried; Ave Maria, we’ve died…” In the Arms of Rain – HIM

You people sicken me. Telltale signs that something was wrong, were visible weeks ago. Yet noone confronted… Nothing was said.

A very obvious blog was posted earlier… Yet… Still no confrontation. Still nothing said.

After the act… Then everyone clambers to play the hero, to do the good. Everyone reaches out to help the suffering soul, to save the one too far gone. Why? To say they tried. To look angellic in the eyes of others. Attempting to be a savior to the condemned.

Now I have exposed you all for what you are. Mindless sheep… Who pay no mind… Until it is too late. Then you jump into action.

It is too late. Sky Ryder is gone. Bled out. Passed on to who knows what. And I blame every single one who “claimed” to care. That took the time… After it was too late… To call. To somehow try to turn back time. Sickly wanting to hear the morbid news.

Yes… Sky Ryder is dead, stained in his own blood. And in his place comes my true soul, my true existance.

Welcome to the world, would you all, in your bleating voices…

Sky… Sky de Lacrimosa.

Final Farewell.

“I’ve seen these dreams being crushed by a single thought; And felt the envy of sadness engulf all warmth; Barely alive under her eyes by exchanging sighs; With tomorrow quivering in the loneliest light; Shedding skin to a dying song; We hum along to the evening sun ’til we are no more; Little deaths to a dying song…” Dying Song – HIM

Sure… Some of you may see this as overdramatic… A plea for help, a cry for attention. But its not. Its the truth, the goodbye of all goodbyes.

My thoughts led me to one conclusion, one answer. No one truly knows me… Not a single person even claimed so. So… It’s time to end that. By ending it all. As I write this… The razors await me. I yearn to feel its kiss upon my wrists, spilling my blood for a final time.

By the time you read this… Its too late… I’m gone. Cliche as it is… I’m gone. I’ll have bled out, passed away, no more to be seen.

My final words to the world, and ACW in specific, are as follows. Sky Ryder is no more. My last moments on this Earth were spent contemplating how my family could cope with this… Knowing that they could. With time, they can. And will. No more will you call people “emo faggot” or deride someone, solely upon their look. In this… My death has done some kind of good.

My blood aches to be spilled. The sweet embrace of death is calling for me… Begging me to end it all. Time to let the blood flow upon the skin, staining it. One. Final. Time.

Goodbye………. Sky Ryder.

Update… And some thoughts…

“Walls so white; when your sorrows have a name; and day is dark as night; There’s no remorse, and no redemption…” Ghost Opera -Kamelot

It’s been a bit since I updated this… But its kinda hard with rehabbing my back, as well as food poisoning. Yes, a lot has happened… Let’s update.

A couple of weeks ago… I was almost paralyzed. Wrestling a show at a haunted house. I came off the ropes wrong… Felt my back pop… And couldn’t move. As I was laying there in the ring… I cried. I cried and cried… To think… I wouldn’t be able to wrestle again. Thoughts swam through my head, horrible and twisted thoughts. Until… I realized. It was karma. Karma for personal actions I wish not to speak of. At that moment.. I knew that was what it was… And even more so… I realized… I would make it through this.

Then… As I am healing from said back injury… I take ONE day off of my diet… And it all goes to hell. Food poisoning. The last couple of days have been hell. Both from constant sickness, and back pain…

However… Good news. I am walking. And as of today… Running. I will be back in the ring as soon as I feel ready… Which may be sooner than most expected. No doubt… My… Shall we say… Naysayers are probably disappointed, even irate maybe, to hear such news. No doubt, they will be running their mouths about me in no time.

Which… Just so happens to lead me into my thoughts. Who on this mortal coil we call Earth, and life, truly knows me? Who, among you all, claims to have inside knowledge on my being, on my actions, on my thoughts? Who knows what I do, and why I do it?

That thought… That extended thought… Has led me to some intriguing conclusions… And those conclusions… Have now led me to some… Shall we say actions. The first… Will be revealed… Accordingly… At midnight.

Will any of you read? More importantly, will any of you care? Time, as it has always done, will tell, dear souls… Time will tell.

Until the darkest hour…

ACW… And Family.

“I’m just a man who’s dream has been stolen; a lost soul who’s pulse is winding down; my time is running out…” – “Broken Man” by Hawthorne Heights

Family. It’s a word thrown around a lot, especially around Anrachy Championship Wrestling. A lot of people consider ACW their closest Family. The fans, the wrestlers, the backstage crew as well. All Family, all close knit.

I, Myself, use the same word, Family.

Jason Silver, he’s pretty much my brother. Been there for me since the beginning, through thick and thin, through it all. He’s Family, no doubt about that. Darin Childs, Skylar Skelly, Khris Wolfe, they’re Family. They’ve taken me in for who I am, and embraced it. Because, that’s what Family does. They take care of one another. No matter what.

What Family DOES NOT do, however, is put down and hate upon one another. They DO NOT call one another “emo faggots” or make fun of one another. They simply DO NOT.

And because there are certain people I once considered part of my ACW Family who believe that their behavior like such is perfectly warranted… I have decided to start this blog. A daily blog. A blog addressing all of my problems, my issues, my emotions, my feelings, my heartaches, my triumphs, my thoughts, my activities, my everything.

Yes, ACW “Family…” it is because of you that I do this. Expect to hear my thoughts loud and clear. And constantly. You have opened my heart… Now watch me bleed to death.

Welcome to the coldest soul that ever existed, Family…